Babylon Bee

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ISIS Lays Down Arms After Katy Perry’s Impassioned Plea To ‘Like, Just Co-Exist’. Wow, we're all like, so safe now. Rachel Notley, Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi, Babylon Bee, Justin Trudeau, Political Party, Pop Singers, Katy Perry, Arms, Satire

ISIS Lays Down Arms After Katy Perry's Impassioned Plea To 'Like, Just Co-Exist'

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire. Babylon Bee, Satire, Haha, Button Down Shirt, Men Casual, Jokes, Christian, Random, Mens Tops

Unconfirmed: Calvinist Laughs At Joke

HUNTINGTON, WV—Unconfirmed reports coming out of Christ Presbyterian Church seem to indicate that a local Calvinist man has become the first in the Reformed tradition to laugh at a joke.The incident occurred during a Thursday night Bible study, where church members were broken into small groups, in deep discussion about various theological conundrum …

Man Identifying As Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship (SATIRE, but this is the lunacy of today. Babylon Bee, Sutra, Batting Average, Saints Days, 6 Year Old, The Championship, Good Marriage, Air Force Ones, Good Job

Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130&nbs …

Latest Photos SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devote. Strategies The very best wellness insurance for people, PARENTS, re-tested, household presents wellness insuran

Calvinist Health Insurance Company Declares All Conditions Pre-Existing

SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devoted Calvinists announced that they will not cover any health condition, since every condition of humankind was pre-existing and established by a sovereign God before the foundation of time.The company, Total Deductibility, states clearly in its bylaws that “pre-ex …

Liberal Christians Figure They’ll Go Ahead And Accept Polygamy As Well Equality Now, Babylon Bee, Go Ahead, Christians, Satire, Counseling, Marriage, Wellness, Rain

Liberal Christians Figure They'll Go Ahead And Accept Polygamy As Well

U.S.—In a strong show of opposition to the recently released Nashville Statement outlining a conservative biblical view of marriage and gender, the entirety of the nation’s liberal Christians got together Wednesday to draft and sign a document called “Christians Really United: In Support Of Polygamist Inclusion in the Church.”After the …

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

The Bee Explains: What Is Planned Parenthood?

Right in the center of the ongoing debate on healthcare and women’s rights sits Planned Parenthood, a federally funded establishment that often finds itself embroiled in controversy. We at The Babylon Bee are here to help you cut through the noise and learn just the facts about this organization.ORIGINSPlanned Parenthood was founded by social D …

Enlightened 'Minecraft' Character Denies Existence Of Game Designer

Enlightened 'Minecraft' Character Denies Existence Of Game Designer

186.124.100.126:56895—An enlightened, freethinking NPC on a lightly modded Minecraft server announced Monday that he denies the existence of Notch and the team at Mojang, explaining that he doesn’t see any evidence of design in the clearly designed game world around him.“My current working theory is that this digital landscape spontaneously c …

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire. Babylon Bee, At All Times, Us Foods, Satire, Laugh Out Loud, Laughing, Goodies, Random, Funny

Man Feeds The Hungry At All Times, Uses Food If Necessary

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Inspired by a popular St. Francis of Assisi quote meme urging him to “preach the gospel at all times; use words if necessary,” local altruist Allen Gammage has changed his humanitarian strategy, sources confirmed Wednesday.“All these years I’ve been trying to feed starving people with food,” Gammage expla …

TAX THE CHURCHES In a bizarre performance, a Texas church choir on Saturday sang praises to President Trump during the “Celebrate Freedom Rally” Saturday at the Kennedy Center. The choir from the First Baptist Church in Dallas sang “Make Babylon Bee, Lord And Savior, Greatest Songs, Great Videos, Choir, Donald Trump, Presidents, Singing, America

Dozens Accept America As Lord And Savior At First Baptist Dallas Service

DALLAS, TX—After an hour-long service commemorating Independence Day at First Baptist Church in Dallas, a beaming Pastor Robert Jeffress reported that “dozens and dozens” in attendance accepted the United States of America as their lord and savior.The service’s patriotic songs, political message, and readings from the Founding Fath …

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Apple IPhone Evolved Naturally Over Billions Of Years, Experts Now Believe

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

Hugh Hefner will be laid to rest next to another Hollywood icon. The entertainment world was rocked by the passing of Hugh Hefner, the man behind Playboy mag. Celebrity Deaths, Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip, Hugh Hefner Death, Culture War, Thing 1, Playboy Bunny, Girl Next Door, Baseball

Nation That Claims To Value Women Celebrates Life Of Hugh Hefner

U.S.—According to reports from around the nation, Americans who think of themselves as progressive and forward-thinking in their support for women’s rights and the dignity of females everywhere were celebrating the life of Hugh Hefner, for some reason, after his death Wednesday at the ripe old age of 91.“RIP Hugh Hefner!” one man whose …

Atheist Delivers Powerful Testimony Of Coming To Believe Life Has No Purpose Frequently Asked Interview Questions, Interview Questions And Answers, Babylon Bee, Which Is Correct, Leader In Me, 7 Habits, Public Speaking, Question And Answer, Pro Life

Atheist Delivers Powerful Testimony Of Coming To Believe Life Has No Purpose

DENVER, CO—At a local chapter meeting of anti-religion group Atheist Friends United on Friday, skeptic and freethinker Michelle Newberry reportedly delivered a powerful, inspiring testimony, recounting her journey from hoping in God to finally realizing that she is nothing but a carbon-based cosmic accident whose existence is of utter …

Here we share 9 infographics to help you identify and learn more about 9 of the main religious orders of the Catholic Church Babylon Bee, Baby Acne, Eco Baby, Third Baby, Kids Writing, Parenting Advice, My Children, Kids Learning, Infant

Infant Delivers Moving Testimony Before Baptism

The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.

As a Christian, you probably know your pastor needs your your prayers. Do you wonder how to pray for your pastor? Here are 10 biblical prayers for pastors. Attributes Of God, Jesus Christus, Pray Without Ceasing, Prayer Warrior, Wife Prayer, Sister Prayer, Prayer Hand, Prayer Room, Faith Prayer

Local Cessationist Specifically Prays For Non-Miraculous Healing

LOS ANGELES, CA—According to sources close to cessationist believer Mitch Jackson, the man prayed Thursday that the Lord would heal him of his chronic liver disease, “so long as it’s not done in a miraculous fashion.”“God, I just pray that you would completely heal me through ordinary, entirely non-sensational means,” Jackso …

Remote Tribe Erupts In Celebration As Atheist Missionary Informs Them Life Has No Meaning

Remote Tribe Erupts In Celebration As Atheist Missionary Informs Them Life Has No Meaning

PAPUA NEW GUINEA—After months of slow, arduous language work and the full translation of The God Delusion into their native tongue, an atheist missionary enjoyed the fruits of his labor as the entire tribe he was working with erupted in ritualistic rejoicing after coming to believe life has no objective meaning whatsoever.In a special teaching session he …

Millions Of Unbelievers Flock To Atheist Paradise Of North Korea

Millions Of Unbelievers Flock To Atheist Paradise Of North Korea

WORLD—A surprising United Nations report indicated Tuesday that millions of atheist immigrants have begun fleeing oppressive nations built on Judeo-Christian beliefs, such as the United States and the United Kingdom, in favor of the “idyllic atheist paradise” of North Korea.The totalitarian land of plenty has become a popular refuge for devou …