These people will not be there when you reach out but then blow super hot when they become available, they are not with a partner or a 'better' friend, starting to shower you with phone calls and messages, until you respond then cutting you off again leaving you clueless. Toxic people! Best thing to do is get rid of them
You might even be mad at yourself for putting up with this for so long. You had no idea the depths of toxicity and evilness that you were unknowingly "enabling". Time to forgive yourself, learn all you can about #NPD and go and stay no contact with the toxic individuals.