If you just finally make that decision to divorce, I promise (& I don't promise!) it will get better. Why be married if you don't want to and are constantly lying and cheating on your wife? Just do it dude.
I can't do it again feeling like the person I wanted more then anything, gives up on me because she thinks it's too hard. I love you too much to give up, I can't I won't. I love you and I will try forever to make it work, no matter what I'll love you.