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What I usually say to my best friend lol

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: I miss the age when I thought I would have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now.

Yes, Officer, I do know how fast I was going, but I just received a booty call.

Jump in my car! We're gonna get some shrooms and then I'll do your plumbing.

Hey I have an idea make the snow day phone call the night before.

Best Mom Ecards On The Net - Something Only Mothers Will Understand. - Sarcastic Charm really!

Watch your fucking language.

So amazingly accurate. Although my silver tongued offspring don't say crap.

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I really thought I needed happy pills, but in reality, all I needed was a good lay.

Funny Confession Ecard: I really thought I needed happy pills, but in reality, all I needed was a good lay.

That sums it up!

From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful. Gee, I never realized how many wildly successful days I have!

Funny Ecards

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Forgiving you means I no longer dwell on what a giant asshole you are. It doesn't mean you're no longer a giant asshole.

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