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My Diet Plan: Bake all of my friends cupcakes; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

this is the most accurate thing ever. I don't get the whole bridesmaid thing, period. They get people they hardly ever talk to so it looks like they actually have friends.

I have tried running, but I kept spilling my wine.  There goes THAT New Year's resolution!

Funny Confession Ecard: I have tried running, but I kept spilling my wine.try a sippy cup, Candi!

For real though

I wish this were real. Except I might have to actually make an "Exercise" board first haha!

Just when I think that my daughter inherited nothing from me, she trips over her own feet and slams into a wall. Then I say to myself, 'Oh, there I am!'

Oh my I so hope mine and Leon's little girl will never inherit these genes. Then on second thought it will be super fun to see it happen to someone else for once in my life lol ;

Sometimes I get so excited while eating mac n' cheese that I forget to breathe.

Sometimes I get so excited while eating mac n' cheese that I forget to breathe. Sonny's mac n cheese everyday, lol.

If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a whole lot. LoL!

Good thing no one can read my mind…

Funny pictures about Good thing no one can read my mind. Oh, and cool pics about Good thing no one can read my mind. Also, Good thing no one can read my mind.

Funny Confession Ecard: She thinks she's hot shit on a silver platter but she's just a cold turd on a paper plate.

Funny Confession Ecard: She thinks she's hot shit on a silver platter but she's just a cold turd on a paper plate. Ain't that the truth!

Well....maybe the fourth lol

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

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