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Or puts a dish in the sink and calls it doing the dishes

That is if he will take the trash out at all! My husband does a ton of other things, but trash isn't one of them! I have learned to pick my battles!

Friendship is like pissing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the piss in my pants.   Lmao

jojo, you're the piss in my pants! "Friendship is like pissing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the piss in my pants." (Corrected the ecard typos because they were making my eye twitch) Quote

I'm going to have to use this one sometime soon ;o)

"Why didn't you answer my text messages?" "Romeo and Juliet killed themselves for love! I think you can answer my texts!

I have actually done this...to my boyfriend's brother. I round house kicked his head

You've been warned. It may be cute to see me tickled, but seriously. I WILL kick you in the face.

@Jennifer Stringer he HAS said this.  | followpics.co

Free and Funny Get Well Ecard: You look sick. I think you need a shot of penis-cillin!

lmfao I always think this!

I've always wondered why people announce they have a baby in the car. as if it makes a difference in the way people drive. This is hilarious!

Oh well...

I have a lot of room.room for a soul AND sarcasm, but this is funny.

My super power is that I think of the easiest and most efficient solution to a problem and I implement it. I call it, 'Common Sense.'

Funny Confession Ecard: My super power is that I think of the easiest and most efficient solution to a problem and I implement it. I call it, 'Common Sense.

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