"Waitress asks my daughter, "what would you like." Daughter says, "I want to devour the unborn." Waitress looks at me and I say, "eggs, she wants eggs.""

Waitress asks my daughter, "what would you like." Daughter says, "I want to devour the unborn." Waitress looks at me and I say, "eggs, she wants eggs.

Just in case

…………honestly I'm just imagining Markiplier texting this to like Amy

I've Just Realised That...

24 Funny Pictures for Today - Dummies of the Year shares the funniest pictures, cutest animals, and most popular videos every single day!

Yoloism Photo

Texts That Got Uncomfortable Real Fast Years of therapy may be required for the recipients of some of these mortifying texts.

And yet this pic is of buffalo & ranch??

Someone from Vandergrift, Pennsylvania, US posted a whisper, which reads "I woke up at 4 in the morning to my parents arguing and shouting loud. They've been married 26 years and were fighting over which was better: Cool Ranch or Salsa Verde"

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