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If you don't swear while driving...

Quote, If you don't swear while driving then you're not paying attention to the road at all. How not to swear when some people are not paying attention.

One time I was so jealous all my friends got the new crayola markers with the black on the outside like in 2nd grade

Markers weren't out yet, but I do remember the aroma when I opened my new box of 48 Crayola crayons!

#TooFunnyForWords click on the pic for more! Funny Will Ferrell tweet

Ive seen this for days and still love it. I love you tube and it really would work!

oh my gosh. probably truer then i should be willing to admit. :)

This is me. I feel guilty about it so I water our grass. I'm cleaning out my car in case anyone needs 27 half empty bottles of water

A few other things as well but I'm pretty sure only those three people I care about are the ones allowed to know what I care about

Sophie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i love it!!

Jerry Seinfeld on parenting a 2-year-old

Having a 2 year old is like having a blender without a lid. (& two teenagers = one 2 year old!

my closet would be massive!!

My life would be amazing. Except for I guess it would be stealing & then the whole jail thing that would happen.

haha maybe! Even though I do like voicemails every once in a while

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

As evidenced by the 10 year old walking around with his dad in target today with his unedited rap music at full volume in his pocket.

Free and Funny Graduation Ecard: I believe basic common sense should be taught in schools since it obviously isn't being taught at home any longer.

"Don't interrupt me when i'm reading a book."

Biggest pet peeve EVER. Doing this is like interrupting a great conversation!

Hahaha!! Yup!

LolSoTrue: # 344 when i text you a whole paragraph and you text me back 40 minutes later saying 'K'. Are you asking to be punched?

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